| From the book: Stress and the Care of the Self Mandala Key Exercise The Roots of the Tree (finding your purpose and passion) The Fruit of the Tree (Changing your life) The Layers of Marriage The Marriage Survey Newsletters |
 How to Live Without Losing Your Life |
Other Writings The Balance between Love and Money Understanding the Universal Unconscious The Crisis of Privacy Faith and Voting Is Death a Choice or Fate? Happy People Raising the Minimum Wage |
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Finding the Balance Between Love and MoneyLove and Money have always appeared to be two forces opposed to each other. They have evolved as catch phrases to define and separate the goals and aspirations of individuals between that of the body and the world, and that of the spirit and emotion. Culturally, we do not allow the pursuit of both because we believe that each is in opposition to the other, but is that true? Both require a form of pursuit, dedication and discipline. It is not possible to truly achieve one or the other without the company of its "enemy". Yet how does one achieve a balance between these two when to cross that very thin line that separates them is to risk losing sight of one? Money is more than dollars and cents. Money brings with it safety and security, social status, freedom of choice, and mobility. Without money our lives seem to be at the mercy of a million outside forces. With money we have a means to withstand them, or even, a way to escape. In the modern western society education, career, and personal development are all geared towards the same end; to enable you to provide enough money for your life so that you are free from want and safe from disaster or emergency. To choose to live a life in which money is not the centering point from which all decisions radiate out, is to live outside of the mainstream culture. Money is also the means to achievement. One can, potentially, achieve one's goals without money, but it is a long and difficult and "uninsured" path. Money used as a tool for achievement can smooth the road and allow the individual to bring into their lives situations and tools to use in the pursuit of their goals. Love is much more complicated. By "love" we could mean relationships to others or to ourselves. Love can be translated into passion for a form of work, creativity, or service. Love can mean discipleship and faith. Love, in general, is the pursuit of perfection of the unique and individual life. Despite the origin of its definition in the self, in the end Love is always inclusive of things outside of the self. Love allows the self to be joined with others. Truly, one cannot love another thing or person unless you love yourself first. The problem with Love, compared to Money, is that it is not quantifiable. There is no car you can drive down the street and everyone will recognize that you have achieved great success in Love. Yet, conversely, love requires no acknowledgment, except from that which is being loved. It is self driven, self regulated, self controlled but its voice and expression are external. Money provides the food, safety, and shelter that is nurtures the seed of Love. Love grows without those things, but it is a rare and delicate flower. Even those who live lives that are "untainted" by money have the ability for their Love supported by someone else' money. Where balance becomes an issue lies in the choice between what is more important, the safety in all its elements that Money can provide, or the fulfillment of a life lived according to Love. Love dictates many difficult things that are in contrast to the goals of Money and vice versa. Money will tell you that Love is a fool, and Love is aghast at Money's cold indifference, but they both need each other in degrees. Balance is achieved when Love is permitted to rule the life and allows Money to be her servant. Love gives to Money something that it could otherwise not achieve. Love gives Money purpose outside of itself. Even if that purpose is so small as to provide shelter and food so the individual is not overwhelmed, is more purpose than Money had before. Without purpose Money is cannibalistic and self-destroying. Money can only acquire and promise but it cannot fulfill. Money can provide the means, the tools for safety but it cannot make the safety believed. That is a recognition that stems from the individual's feelings which are developed only through the pursuit of Love. Money, for all its bluster, is a tool that requires hands, mind and heart to be effective. And Love? Love in its finest form sees the beauty and purpose in everything. We have, as a western industrialized society, worked very hard to ascribe to Money, Love's attributes. Production and Consumption, the wheels that allow our society to turn, are in direct conflict with the goals of Love. Yet what these mean brothers do not recognize is that Love does not require that you forsake the world, it merely requires that it be redefined. Balance comes easily to one who has re-learned the worth and value of their life. Desperation flees in front of confidence and faith. The first step to achieving balance is to look at where your time and energy is spent and to redefine it. For most of us, the fifty hour work week is the norm and the majority of our waking hours is spent pursuing money. What needs to be done is to look at the quality of the time spent outside of work, if you let Love begin to be the directing force, you will see the need and purpose for Money in your life become redefined and realigned. You may never lose the 50 hour week but you may find you have gained your life. |
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